First Sunday: Our Tears are Our Prayers

Me and my sister after First Sunday

Happy Sunday! I feel blessed by the Best to be posting this blog and sharing the good news about our tears and Jesus Christ so let’s go:

Last Sunday, my church family resumed in-person Church service. We haven’t gathered since the explosion of the pandemic in March, and in the interim we restricted ourselves to dial-in service.

Earlier that week, I was talking with a Georgia peach about how the Church was reopening and we were both struck with the realization that not once, not ever, did we fathom not being able to go to Church.

Like, just take that in for a minute.

Which is exactly what we did; we reflected on how we took it for granted. All the complaining about the early hour, second-guessing if we’re going to get up in the morning, and even arriving late. I actually remember planning out getting to Church 30 minutes late because that’s how long praise and worship lasted so I knew I would still hear the full sermon.

Lord, please forgive me, and not because I deserve it (because clearly, I don’t). Forgive me because You’re a merciful God who delights in grace. You know God delights in grace when He allows somebody to come back to His house after He watched them take it for granted. Amen.

Back to the tears. On our First Sunday back post-corona, I cried the entire time. I cried from the parking lot when we arrived all the way back to the car before we left. I cried during praise and worship. I cried during the opening prayer. I cried during my own prayers. I cried during the sermon. I cried during the anointing. I cried during the offering. I just cried, cried, and cried. I cried so much that I ultimately stopped wiping my tears when I realized they weren’t going to stop, so I let my mask act as a water catcher instead.

Shannon Evette of Shannon Evette Ministries said in this video that our tears are prayers (timestamp 14:30) that “validate the space of our hearts.” She explains how our tears are unspoken prayers, the prayers we don’t say for ourselves. So technically speaking, I prayed the entire time. LOL.

My heart space has definitely been shaken. Most likely due to God shaking literally everything (as Shannon also points out, timestamp 20:55). My tears were saying so much to God, and myself, last Sunday. If I had to put them in words, they wouldn’t be very eloquent. They would sound more like an erratic monologue:

“I am saved. I am hurting. I am a mess. I am blessed. I am healing. I am afraid. I am exhausted. I need to rest in you. I am resting in you. I’m so grateful. I’m so sorry. I am pushing. I am. I am. I am. God, here am I!!!”

I’m in need. I’m learning, as I get further in my walk, that I will always be in need. For someone who has always strived to be an independent person, that is a hard truth to accept. What makes it easier for me is knowing that Who I stand in need of (God) is faithful.

Screenshot from The Bible Project — “Character of God: Compassion” Video

I’m learning His character, and He simply would never let me down. It’s so beautiful. God is asking us in the most lovingly ways imaginable to surrender to His TLC that surpasses all earthly comfort.

I smile when I remember how I set out on a journey to find God, because now I find myself begging for Him to find me. “God, here am I!”

It’s paradoxical. Even though I fundamentally understand God is always with me and has never left me (see, there goes that faithfulness again), there is also something within that actively desires for Him to see me.

The exact logic behind it still escapes me, but I feel like it’s connected to the fact that I don’t want to keep taking God for granted. Honestly, I can’t keep taking God for granted. He don’t play like that. Being in a world where not being able to go to church became a reality has shown me that.

Part of not taking God for granted is believing what He says. He says to be diligent when we seek Him. The evidence of this is in the Bible, the Gospel accounts from the Apostles of Jesus in the New Testament.

Time after time, miracle after miracle, we can read through this process of humans accepting Christ and acting by faith. Blind beggars calling out, “Lord, have mercy on me!” without ceasing. Paralyzed people (and friends) climbing on a roof and breaking through the ceiling to get into the sanctuary for healing.

They were all people who didn’t take anything for granted while standing in the presence of Jesus, the Lord in the flesh. They were ready to ask for everything they stood in need of, and never defaulted to the luxury of assuming that God would just know already.

And of course, He knows. He hears the prayers in our tears so we can be assured He knows. Yet, when we seek Him diligently and humbly it adds something great to the entire situation. Similar to spice, it just gives it a different kick. Not only do we receive our healing through diligent faith, we also manage to please God in the process.

It’s a bonus miracle, being able to please the God who knows and created everything. Hallelujah!

Overall, the crying did not surprise me. It felt good, surrendering to my tears. Surrendering to my heart space and letting the Spirit reveal things I needed to bring to God. We all need that. I was finally in a space where I could stand in front of God and tell Him exactly what I needed, then receive it instantly through faith. That entire experience increased my faith. Thank you, God!

Message Recap: Yes, God knows everything about you and your situation. Beloved, God most definitely sees you and me, all of us. Yet, the Creator of the Universe still wants you to want Him to see you, to hear you. Crave God’s attention and His listening ear. Take nothing for granted. This is how we demonstrate diligent faith.

Long Story, Shorter: my First Sunday back in church post-corona HIT. The presence of God. The anointing. It was all so needed, so previously taken for granted. Being in the Body of Christ is such an under-rated privilege and blessing.

Bonus: it was nice to see that the Body wasn’t limited to the building. We still had dial-in service, and we even had church members sitting in the parking lot, listening in their cars.

Thank You, God, for Your goodness and faithfulness. You truly are deserving of all the honor and the praise. Forgive and heal us of our sins as only You can. Continue to write the best story for Your glory through all of us. Most importantly, THANK YOU for Your Son, JESUS CHRIST. Without Him, none of it could work. Amen.

Until next time!

MJ

Supporting Scripture

Hebrews 11:5 — “ By faith, Enoch was taken away so that he did not experience death, and he was not to be found because God took him away. For prior to his transformation, he was approved, having pleased God. (6) Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him.

Mark 2:3-6 — “ Then they came to Him bringing a paralytic, carried by four men. Since they were not able to bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above where He was. And when they had broken through, they lowered the stretcher on which the paralytic was lying. Seeing their faith, Jesus told the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.

Cite: The Apologetics Study Bible: Real Questions, Straight Answers, Stronger Faith. T. Cabal, gen. ed. Nashville: Holman Bible Publishers, 2007.

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Mya Jacobs

Mya Jacobs

Hey holy people! Student of Christ, redeemed soul, created by the Creator. Follow me on a journey of watching with Jesus.